A Not So Beautiful Mind
by paramoredork
Summary: I know she's real Kyla, I just do." "For the last time Ashley, you're sick. Ok? You're sick and Spencer's not real!" "Then why do I keep seeing her?"
1. Chapter 1

Gripping the edge of the window I stretch onto my tip toes to peak out. Darting my eyes back and forth, I see that the hallways are empty.

I grab the black sharpie out from in between my mattresses and walk over to one of the corners of my room.

With one swift motion I have taken the lid off the marker and have placed another straight mark amongst the many others.

After I have replaced the marker, away from the doctors, I sit myself back down in the corner and begin to count each line.

I remember the first time my doctor asked me what those lines represented, and I remember looking up at him and saying 'It's how many days it's been since I've seen Spencer.'

After that he smiled at me as he wrote on his brown clipboard and then said to me 'We're gonna help you get better.'

That was over a year ago, and still here I am in the same hospital, in the same institution, in the same room.

You see, Spencer and I have known each other forever.

Well, not really forever, but we've known each other since the fifth grade. We used to do everything together, and it wasn't until I turned fifteen that I realized I was gay.

Shortly after I realized this, Spencer did the same.

And then it wasn't until a year after that, that I asked Spencer to be my girlfriend. She agreed without a second thought, and I became the happiest person in the galaxy.

I fell in love with Spencer very fast, and I began to spend almost all of my time with her.

This caused my family to want to meet her, and every time Spencer was supposed to come over, she would cancel.

But that doesn't explain how I ended up here.

It all happened because one day Spencer and I were up in my room talking.

She was sitting at my desk chair while I was sitting on the edge of my bed.

I can't remember what we were talking about, but what I do remember is Kyla coming in my room asking me why I was talking to myself.

I laughed at her and pointed to the desk chair saying that I wasn't talking to myself, that I was talking to Spencer.

She looked at Spencer then looked back at me.

'No one's there Ash.'

'What are you talking about she's right there?'

'No Ash, no one's there.'

That's how I ended up here.

Well it wasn't immediately after, but after a few more times with that happening I ended up here.

The first couple weeks I was here Spencer would visit me every day. But once the doctors gave me these two tiny pink pills she stopped coming to see me.

I've thought about not taking my pills many times, but Kyla says that if I take my pills and get better that I'll be able to come home.

So I've been doing what the doctors say and I've been taking my pills as told.

So tomorrow I get to go home.

Kyla is coming to get me at twelve in the afternoon.

I'm kind of scared to leave, and to enter the real world again, but I've gotten better and I'm looking forward to talking to people again.

But most importantly I'm looking forward to being with Spencer again.

Standing up from my corner I walk over to my bed and lay down, pulling the covers up to my chin as sleep takes over me and I begin dreaming of her.


	2. Chapter 2

In my short nineteen years of life I've been called many things, freak, crazy, loony, having one too many screws loose, off my rocker, but here they call me something else.

Here, they call me schizophrenic.

At first when they told me this, I was completely clueless of what it meant.

But after everything was explained to me I refused to believe anything that they said.

I still refuse to believe it.

They like to tell me that because of my schizophrenia I can imagine people that aren't real, but I know Spencer is.

I just do.

I mean how can she not be real? She's been with me my whole life.

She has helped me through some of the toughest times that I have had to face in my life.

Of course my family was there, but Spencer just understood everything that was going on.

She just got me.

I reach underneath my mattress and grab the black marker, once again making another black line amongst the others.

When I first got here I just had schizophrenia, but as time has gone on, they have also diagnosed me with depression.

They have asked me many times why I have been depressed, and I tell them the same thing every time.

'It's cause I haven't seen her.'

I hear the jingle of keys outside my door and quickly stash away my marker.

I sit Indian style on my bed with my hands in my lap as I stare at the door.

The door is opened slowly and Dr. Anderson walks in.

Dr. Anderson is a very beautiful woman.

She has dark brown hair and piercing green eyes.

I could definitely love her, if I wasn't in love with Spencer.

She has been my main doctor ever since I came here, and she has been nothing but nice to me.

"Hello Ashley," she greets with a dazzling smile.

"Hi Dr. Anderson," I offer.

"So I see that your being released today?"

"Yeah, I finally get to home."

Her smile turned into a slight frown as she spoke her next sentence,

"Well, I do have to say that I'm going to miss you. You have been my favorite patient."

"And you have been my favorite doctor."

She looks at me with saddened eyes as she sat her clipboard down on my bed.

She opened her arms and gestures towards herself.

"Give me a hug, cause I don't expect to see you again."

I hesitantly stood from my bed and walk into her arms, enjoying her embrace.

It's been way to long since I've hugged anyone.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," says a familiar voice.

I look over to the door and see Kyla standing there with an armful of clothes.

"Goodbye Ashley, hopefully I won't have to have you as a patient again, I hope that I'll only have to see you as a friend," Dr. Anderson said with another brief hug before she left my room.

I pulled Kyla into a hug, loving this moment of getting to see someone from my family.

"Um, I didn't really know what you'd want to wear," she began, "So I just brought you some jeans, a polo shirt and some sandals. I just think that you'll be happy to get out of those white scrub things."

She laughed slightly as she handed my clothes over to me.

"I'm just gonna step outside while you get dressed."

I pulled my stiff white shirt off and replaced it with the cotton polo.

I caressed the fabric in my hands for a second, not being used to the feel of it.

I slipped on my jeans following it with my sandals.

I'm not completely used to these clothes, but they're comfortable.

I walk out of my room for the last time and greet Kyla again.

"So what do you want to do Ash. You're free. Name anything and we'll do it," she says excitedly

The first thought that comes to mind is 'To go see Spencer.'

But I swallow that thought, knowing that it's how I got here and simply say,

"Let's go get some real food."

With that said we walked out to the car and headed to a restaurant to get some food.

I was free from the institution, and I never had to go back.

I should be thinking of all the things I could do now, but the only thing that was on my mind was Spencer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Flash backs will be in italics.**

Here I am lying on my bed with memories of Spencer swirling in my brain. Every touch seemed so real, every kiss was filled with so much passion, and every embrace was filled with nothing but love. I move myself until I'm in seating position and stare out my window.

The sky is the most radiant color of blue.

It reminds me of Spencer's eyes so very much. I feel my heart start to sort of clench as I remember some of the happiest times that Spencer and I spent together.

"_Spencer come over here," I whine as she walks over to my closet to try on some of my clothes._

"_No, you're the one that said I would look hot in your clothes, therefore: we're gonna find out," she smiled as she entered my closet to leave me on my bed. I smiled to myself knowing that I was most likely the luckiest person in the world. _

_Spencer was definitely the best thing that could ever happen to me. _

"_Ash," she whispered as she came out of my closet to get my attention. My head popped up as I looked her over. I sat up on the edge of my bed and took all of her in. She was absolutely gorgeous._

"_Whoa baby, you look hot." She was wearing a pair of my white, very short shorts, also she was wearing one of my black vest that only had two buttons in the middle. I could tell that she wasn't wearing a bra by the way the vest was clinging to her._

"_It's all for you," she purred as she walked towards me slowly. As she came up to me she straddled my lap and leaned forward, pushing her chest out towards me._

"_All for me?" I questioned with a bright smile on my face._

_She nodded slightly before pressing her lips to mine in a passion seared kiss._

"_It's always, all for you baby."_

Spencer was the most amazing person I've met in my life, and it makes me wonder why she had stopped coming to see me when I was in the institution. She told me she loved me, so why would she leave me?

As I continued to stare out of my window, I heard a faint knock on my door.

"Come in."

"Hey Ash, um, I brought you your medication. It says on the bottle to take it at five, so here you go," she placed the two pills in my hand and handed me a glass of water.

"Is there anything else you need, or that I could get you?" she asked while she was making her way out of my room.

"No, I'm good."

"Ok."

I listened to her leave, and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding once I heard the door click shut. I stared down at the two tiny pink pills in my hand.

Ever since I started taking these pills, Spencer stopped seeing me. These were the cause of her leaving me.

I jump up off my bed and place the glass of water on my desk. With pills in hand, I crawl underneath my bed and pull a box out. Inside the box was many things, but more importantly, I found a small purple silk pouch.

I opened the pouch and dumped the contents of my hand into in.

I tucked the pouch back into the box underneath everything else and hid the box back under my bed. I walked back over to my desk and downed the glass of water, leaving nothing but a few drops of left.

These pills were the reason why I couldn't see her, they were why she left me.

So if not taking them means I get to have Spencer back, well then, I'm not taking my pills anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys thanks for reading this. I was positive that I was just some crazy fool, and that no one would like this. Also I just watched the movie Avatar. It is by far one of the most amazing movies I have ever seen, and if you haven't seen it, you should. **

**On with the story.................**

It's been about a month now that I stopped taking my pills, and yet I still have seen no sign of Spencer. My routine has been the same everyday so far. Kyla will come in with a glass of water and my pills, and then I stash them away so she can't find them. The little pouch that I was using actually got full one day so when everyone in my house was asleep I snuck outside and dumped the pills in the garbage can, knowing that the garbage man would be coming in the morning to get rid of all the evidence. I'm sitting at our breakfast bar eating a bowl of cereal. If I could I would try to drown my sorrows in this bowl of froot loops, but sadly I can't. I hear heavy footsteps behind me, and I don't bother to turn around. I already know it's my father.

"Hey honey," my father said as he placed a light kiss on my temple.

"Hey daddy," I said with absolutely no enthusiasm in my voice.

My father has shown nothing but love and support towards me ever since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has always been there for me, even before. Even when he was on tour, if I gave him a call wanting him to come home, he would be home without a second thought the next day.

He was by far the most amazing dad anyone could possibly want to have.

But when he heard that I had schizophrenia, he stopped touring all together, I mean, yeah, it was hard when he wasn't here and it was just me and Kyla, but we dealt with it. Ever since our mom died, our father had cut back on all the touring, but when I was diagnosed, it was all over.

He stopped touring, and he barely had anything to do in the music business, well except for writing songs for bands every now and then. I argued with him for days saying that he couldn't just give up everything for me, and that I wasn't going to let him.

Eventually I lost the fight with him, and now he stays home and watches over me while Kyla goes off to college. I don't go to college. The doctors said that it would be best to hold off for a couple more years. Just to see how well I'll do without be in the institution. Without all the doctors and limited people around me. Everything was just so hard now that my mom was gone. Things were so much easier when my mom was alive. I miss her so much.

She died when I was ten. I didn't know at the time, but she had breast cancer. She fought for so many years, but eventually, she too lost the fight. I had such a great bond with my mother. She was so caring and she made sure that we had everything, even when we already had everything.

She loved us all so very much, and before she left us, she made sure that we all knew that.

"How are you doing today," I ask actually wondering how he's doing.

"I'm doing good, but the more important question is, how are you doing today?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

"Not good," I sighed loudly, "I know that I shouldn't be thinking about Spencer, dad, I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it."

"I understand honey," he said as he pulled me into his arms, into his loving embrace.

"Why did she have to leave me, daddy, why?" I cried out as I squeezed him closer to me as tears spilled over the edges of my eyes and onto his overly tight t-shirt.

"I don't know honey, I just don't know," he said as he rubbed my back trying to make my tears stop. Even though right now I know he's thinking ' She's not real.' I was just happy that he wasn't throwing any of this in my face.

"Daddy, why do you say that? All the doctors say that she's not real. And you're talking to me like you believe me?"

"Baby girl I don't see how she can't be real. You love this girl way too much for her not to be. I don't think you're crazy. I just think that you're waiting for her to come along," he whispered to me as he held me tighter to his chest. "I believe you baby girl, I believe you."

At that moment I believed him, because he was the only person that believed me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading and commenting guys. It really means a lot to me.**

I pulled away from my father's embrace and kissed him on the cheek in a thanking motion. It was times like this when I just needed someone to talk to.

Someone that wouldn't look at me like I was crazy.

Someone that would actually have a normal conversation with me.

"Are you ok honey?" my dad asked with nothing but one hundred percent of pure worry across his slightly aged face.

"I'm fine dad. I just, I, it's just that my heart feels shattered, and it feels like nothing is able to fix it."

"I understand baby girl, I do."

"Thanks daddy."

"No problem baby girl. Here I'm going to go to the store and get some things for dinner. What do you want? Name anything you want, anything and I'll make it for you sweetheart."

"Um, well, I'd really like some shrimp pasta."

"Then shrimp pasta it is," he said as he walked off the foyer of the house, grabbing his jacket and sliding his arms into the sleeves.

He grabbed his car keys and marched back into the kitchen, up to me.

He placed another kiss to my temple and hugged me briefly.

"I'll be back soon sweetheart."

"See you in a little bit daddy," I said as I heard the last of his footprints as he walked out the door. With no one home but me, I easily became bored.

Looking around at the full, but empty house I had an idea.

I bounced up the stairs two at a time until I reached my room and starting rummaging through the drawers. Until I found the perfect swim suit.

Pulling my clothes off and replacing them with the two piece swim suit I tied the strings around my neck tightly, before grabbing a towel.

I had decided to go for a swim. Since dad was going to go to the store to get some stuff for dinner, and Kyla, well Kyla was at school, so I had nothing better to do.

Placing my towel on one of the lawn chairs, I walked over to the edge of the pool and dove in head first.

I resurface and take a deep breath as my head breaks the surface of the water.

I started to do some laps around the pool. Just getting in a good workout, until I decided to have some fun and start doing back flips off the diving board.

After I did the last back flip I swam to the edge and got out of the pool, grabbing my towel.

I began to dry my hair when I heard a familiar chuckle behind me. I turned around quickly and was met with those beautiful blue orbs I love so much.

"You always did love to swim," she said as she laughed some more.

"Spencer?"

**Ok, ok I know that I shouldn't leave it there but I can't give too much away. And sorry that it's so short, it's also because I don't wanna give too much away.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ashley's POV**

After I did the last back flip I swam to the edge and got out of the pool, grabbing my towel.

I began to dry my hair when I heard a familiar chuckle behind me. I turned around quickly and was met with those beautiful blue orbs I love so much.

"You always did love to swim," she said as she laughed some more.

"Spencer?"

She flashed her dazzling smile in my direction before she lifted her shirt up and over her head and dropping her pants, before running and jumping in the pool. Once she resurfaced she smiled brightly at me and swam to the edge.

"Come on Ash, jump in," she beckoned me with her sparkling eyes.

I could feel my tongue wrestling with itself as I tried to find the exact right words to her.

She's been gone all this time, and now she just wants to show up and act like nothing happened.

Like everything is fine between us.

"What are you doing here?" was the only thing that I could get my tongue to let me say.

Believe me I was absolutely ecstatic that Spencer was here, and that I am seeing her after all this time.

And I was absolutely thrilled at the thoughts at all the memories that could be reenacted between us.

She bobbed in the water as her smile began to fall from her face. That was obviously the wrong thing to say.

"What do you mean baby, I am always here," she said as she began to climb the ladder to remove herself from the pool. "You know you kind of gave me a key."

she walked over to her previously discarded pants and pulled a shiny silver key out of the back pocket.

"And uh you said that I was always allowed to come over, no matter the time or anything," she continued on, "But uh, if this is a bad time or if you want me to leave, I can."

I stared at her for what began to seem like a life time.

I just had to take every bit of her in.

Cause who knew when she when leave me again, and who knows for long she would be gone. With that thought I felt my body go stiff. Because I remembered one small, yet very important detail.

Spencer left me, end of story.

She left me without so much as a goodbye, and now she wants to show up and think that everything is fine with us. I felt this wave of anger surge through my body. It was that type of anger that you get only a few times in your life, and this was definitely one of the times this anger would visit me.

"You have no right to be here!" I hollered and watched her body flinch at my harsh words. I have never been mean to Spencer, I have never even began to raise my voice at her.

She looked at me with a confused look, as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

"What are you talking about Ash, you have been avoiding me. For the past year and more you have been ignoring me. I tried everything to get your attention, but no you just walked around without saying anything. You looked right through me, as if I wasn't right there in front of your face!" She yelled back as she began to step closer to me.

"And here I was all excited because my girlfriend decided to actually talk to me today. I wasn't going to bring this up, but now you wanna blame all this on me? You avoided me not the other way around."

"What do you mean I avoided you. I was in an institution, and you stopped coming to see me. I thought that I was going crazy because you weren't around. Because you weren't there to tell me that everything was ok. I cried so many nights thinking that you left me. Thinking that your were done with everything that we had. You just left Spencer. You left! You can't just come back and expect me to welcome you with open arms!"

"I didn't leave you Ashley, I was here the whole time."

"No you weren't Spencer, you weren't."

I looked at her, feeling tears slide down my cheeks as I ran a hand through my hair.

"I can't do this Spencer, I just can't"

I glanced at her as I started to walk back to my house, I didn't get far.

I felt her grab my wrist and pull me back to her, to where our bodies were almost touching.

"I'm not ready to lose you," she whispered before connecting her lips with mine.

**Raife's POV**

I pull the keys out of the ignition and grab the groceries out of the passenger seat. I walk up to the house and unlock the door before taking the groceries in and placing them on the kitchen counter.

"Ashley I'm home!"

I started to take the groceries out and putting some of them away.

"Sweetheart I'm home!"

After not getting a response for a good ten minutes I walked over the window that allowed me to see in the backyard. Here is where I found Ashley. She had tears running down her face, and she was screaming and gesturing to the air around her.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to believe Ashley I really did, but she was sick and there for nothing I could do. I realize that Ashley yelling at people that don't exist is bad, but who knows maybe her medication isn't working.

I walked away from the window and grabbed the house phone dialing Dr. Anderson's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi Dr. Anderson this is Raife Davies, Ashley Davies father, well I'm a little concerned about Ashley."

As the conversation went on I felt even worse of a father. I should believe my baby girl, of all the people in the world, I should believe her.

But I'm only doing what's best for her, at least that's what I hope I'm doing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kyla's POV**

Come on three o-clock.

Come on three o-clock!

My professor is really starting to annoy me. He was an old man. He was maybe in his late fifties. He had black rimmed glasses, that hung on the very tip of his nose. His pants were way too high for my liking, and his shirt was tucked in said pants.

As if the whole tucked in shirt, pants ordeal wasn't enough he had suspenders. Bright green, so contrasting to the rest of his outfit suspenders. His white hair was combed over to the left and he ran his hands through it often. Probably checking to make sure it's still there.

With a shaky hand my professor wrote on the board the pages that we would have to read for homework tonight.

"Class dismissed," he spoke with his old husky voice.

I quickly wrote it down and slammed my book shut, racing the others out of the door. I was so happy. I could finally go home. School was over for today therefore the rest of the day was just going to coast right on by. I walked out of UCLA and towards the parking lot. Once I was in seeing distance of my car I saw Aiden leaning against it with a smile on his face. As I approached him he grabbed my books from my hands and placed a small kiss on my lips.

"Hey baby," he said as he pulled away from my lips and pulled me into a brief hug, "So how was AP Lit?"

"God, don't even get me started. I love Mr. Roberts and all, but he just gets on my nerves to no extent."

"Oh, I see. I have competition." he laughed.

"Oh yeah, I just can't wait to have Mr. Roberts' old hairy wrinkling body to myself."

He shivered slightly and I laughed as I pushed him around to the passenger side.

"Come on, lets go to my house, and you can leave after dinner. Sound like a plan?" I questioned.

"Well, I guess I could you know, seeing as you are asking, and not be demanding."

"I'm not demanding. I just know what I want."

"Whatever you say." He smirked as he jumped in the car and waited for me to get in until we drove off towards my house.

**Ashley's POV**

I was laying on my bed with Spencer in my arms. It has been way to long since this has happened. It is almost unbelievable that she is here right now. God, I don't even know the words to describe how much I've missed Spencer.

"I love you Ash, you don't even know."

"I love you too Spencer."

She pulled me closer to her and locked her lips with mine. The kiss was slow and sensual. It wasn't rushed or anything. She pulled away and smiled up at me.

Her smile could brighten up the world I just know it can.

"Promise me you'll never leave me Spence," I asked with all the hope in the world that she would say she wouldn't.

She looked at me.

I mean she _really _looked at me and smiled slightly.

"I could never leave you Ashley, I just couldn't"

I heard a knock on my door and in came Kyla with Aiden in tow behind her.

"Hey Ash, who were you talking to," Kyla questioned.

I looked at Spencer and just shook my head. I know that Kyla will never believe me.

She never has, so why would she now.

"I was talking to myself. I was trying to figure out where I put that red shirt I like so much. You know the one with the blue on it that looks like paint splatter."

"Now that you mention it I haven't seen that shirt lately. Oh well, if you can't find it we'll just go to the mall and get you another one, sound good?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"Well, um dinner is done so if you want I could bring you up some, or you can come and eat with us,"

I looked at Spencer again and she nodded towards Kyla.

I nodded back at her and got off the bed and walked down the stairs to eat dinner with my family.

But the whole time, my mind was on the fact that I had Spencer back in my life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys sorry it's been a little while since I've updated. I'm having some issues right now and I don't really know how to fix them. And I'm really not in the best state of everything right now, so if this sucks I'm sorry. Anyway on with the story.**

So it's been a few months since Spencer came back into my life. And in these past few months Spencer is the only thing that keeps me going.

But me and Spencer haven't been getting along that well lately. In fact we haven't been seeing much of each other lately either.

It's partially because of Kyla. Kyla and I don't really talk that much anymore. We had a bad argument last month. I was tired of keeping me and Spencer away from her. I knew she would understand because me and Spencer love each other.

Lets just say it didn't go over well.

_I walked into Kyla's room and sat down in her desk chair as she fixed the books on her book self. She always had to have everything so neat. I waited patiently until she turned around to talk to her. Once she did turn around she jumped slightly at the sight of me. I was extra careful when I came in of not to make any noise. _

"_Oh my god Ashley you scared the shit out of me," she breathed out as she came down from the rush of surprise I just gave her._

"_Sorry I just came in to talk to you."_

"_Well what do you want?"_

"_Well, you know how you always ask me who I'm talking to, and I always say that I'm just talking to myself ?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Well I have to tell you something, and you have to promise me that you won't tell dad."_

"_I don't know Ashley-"_

"_Promise me."_

"_Fine, I promise. Now what is it?"_

_I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I had to do this. I knew that I had to._

"_Well, um, well I-"_

"_Just spit it out already. I don't have all day," she said kind of harshly._

"_Well, I've been seeing Spencer."_

_There was a brief moment of silence that filled the room. _

_This silence was extremely awkward. _

"_That's impossible Ashley, you've been taking your meds. I bring them to you every day. Therefore you shouldn't bee seeing her."_

" _But I do Kyla. She's in my room right now go look. I swear she's in there."_

_She huffed loudly then marched down the hallway toward my bedroom. She swung the door open and walked around the room. _

_She even checked the closet._

"_No one's here Ashley. See no one," she said as she gestured around towards my room. But Spencer was there she was laying on my bed._

"_What are you talking about Ky she's right there."_

"_No she's Ashley and you wanna know why? Because Spencer's not real!"_

"_I know she's Kyla I just do."_

"_For the last time Ashley, you're sick. Ok? You're sick and Spencer's not real!"_

"_Then why do I keep seeing her?"_

"_I don't know you tell me. Did you stop taking your meds?"_

_I simply nodded my head as my eyes sank to the floor._

"_I'm sorry Ash, I know I made a promise, but I gotta tell dad I'm sorry."_

Well as you can see that didn't go over to well. After that day I was sent back to the institution, where Dr. Anderson put me back on my pills. Now I can't be alone when I take them. Someone has to be there, and make sure I take them.

So now this is why me and Spencer haven't seen each other that much. We barely see each other now. Her visits have become less and less to none.

So here I am back in my depression stage again, but at least Kyla's trying to make things better.

She asked me today if I wanted to go to this new cafe with her. I hadn't been out much so I agreed to go. As we were sitting there enjoying some coffee and a strange looking muffin I looked up and saw a flash of blonde hair, and gorgeous blue eyes. It was Spencer.

It was my Spencer.

"Kyla look it's Spencer."

"Ashley I thought we went through the whole not taking your meds things."

"No I'm still taking them. Remember you gave them to me every day. I swear I don't cheek them or anything. But that's her."

I pointed to the woman standing in line to get her beverage.

"That's Spencer," I said with a smile.

**Oops? Well I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.**


	9. Chapter 9

I pointed to the woman standing in line to get her beverage.

"That's Spencer," I said with a smile.

Kyla turned around in her seat faster than I have ever seen her do in my life. She eyed the blonde for a couple of seconds.

"That's impossible Ash. Spencer's not real. We talked to the doctor and everything, and I was there when you said she was. That has got to be someone else. Cause Spencer's not real."

I watched as Spencer grabbed her drink and smiled at the cashier and thanked him. She took a look around the small cafe and walked over to a corner, before sitting down and pulling out a laptop

from her bag.

"That's her Kyla I swear."

"No it's not."

"Fine believe whatever you want to believe, but I'm going over there."

She grabbed me by my arm real fast before I even got the chance to stand up all the way.

"Ashley what are you thinking? Are you insane? That's not Spencer ok. Leave the poor girl alone!"

"No Kyla, I know that's her, and there's nothing you can do to stop me," I said with plenty of force in my voice, " Now let me go."

"Fine."

She released my arm and sighed loudly.

I understand that me and Kyla just got back to normal, but I was on my meds and still seeing Spencer.

Either I was truly crazy or Spencer had to be real.

I straightened my shirt and dusted off my pants before slowly walking over to Spencer's table.

With ever step that I took, which led me closer to Spencer's table, my heart beat would pick up in pace.

I could feel a solid lump forming in the back of my throat.

I felt my tongue beginning to tie itself in a knot.

I finally reached the table and just stood there looking at her. She looked so beautiful. She was just wearing a t-shirt and a pair of worn in dark blue jeans.

But she was absolutely breath taking.

She hadn't looked up yet. She was staying busy with her nose buried into her laptop, typing away at the speed of light.

I took a seat across from her and cleared my throat.

Her azure eyes popped up to meet my brown orbs.

She looked at me for a second before I broke the awkward silence between us.

"Hey Spencer, I missed you."

A look of confusion came across her face.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" she questioned.

"What do you mean? It's me Ashley Davies."

"I'm sorry but I don't seem to remember you."

"Spencer it's me, Ashley. We've known each other since the fifth grade. We've always done everything together. Until you moved away after my mom died. How can you act like you don't know me?"

I felt that lump in my throat getting bigger, and I could feel hot tears coming down my face.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I was met with Kyla's eyes.

"Come on Ashley. It's not worth it."

I nodded and got out of the seat and let Kyla lead me out of the cafe, and place me in the car without so much as a word.

I looked back in the cafe window and saw Spencer.

Her eyes were staring directly into mine.

But I couldn't read the blank expression on her face.

So I let Kyla drive me home, and I let her lead me to my room, where I spent the rest of the day, sulking in my self depression.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ashley's POV**

How could she do this?

To me of all people?

How could she do this to _me_?

All I ever did was love her. That is all I ever did, but now I see that me loving her was never enough. I gave her all of me. I gave her everything that I had, but it wasn't good enough._ I'm_ not good enough.

I don't understand how she could do this to me. I absolutely have no idea why _she _would do this.

Remembering her confounded eyes back at the cafe, I, myself become confused.

Spencer has known me for _so _many years.

So why does she choose now?

Why does she choose when I'm the most vulnerable to shatter my heart into thousands of tiny puzzle pieces.

I don't know the answers to any of my questions. But I do know that even though duct tape can fix anything, that there is one thing it can't fix.

My heart.

I lift my body off of the middle of my bed and hang over the edge. I reach under the bed and pat the ground trying to find the photo album. Once I had found it I pulled it up, into my lap. I wipe away the thin sheet of dust that has covered the front, and stare at my hand writing on the cover.

It read _Moments with Spencer._

I can't even begin to remember when the last time I looked at this album was. The album itself was worn.

Very worn.

The edges were bent int and there were some scuffs and scratches scattered all over the dark purple covering. The binding had started to come loose, and there were frayed threads coming off of it.

Pretty soon I would need to buy another album and transfer the pictures over.

I slowly open the album and come face to face with a picture of me.

I'm standing alone on the beach. The sun is coming behind me, and I have a big cheesy smile on my face. My arms are looped around air.

As if someone was supposed to be there.

And I remember that day as if it just happened an hour ago. My arms were wrapped around Spencer.

I flip the page and I see the exact same thing.

Empty pictures only filled with me or a couch where Spencer would sleep and I would take the picture.

I repeated this action for awhile.

Me, just flipping through the album.

Just so I can see hundreds of pictures of me or random objects. I looked so happy in the pictures that were taken.

I can only wish that I'll ever be happy again, but looking at this album confirms that Spencer's not real.

Not my Spencer at least.

So I need to move on with my life.

I need to forget about Spencer.

I close the album and walk over to the trash can near my dresser. I gaze at the photo album for one more time.

I need to let go.

I drop the photo album into the trash and make my way downstairs.

I need to talk to my father.

As I walked into the kitchen I see his wild white hair standing attention as he stirred a pot of some sort.

"He dad?" I called to get his attention.

He turned around with a smile and asked "Yes?"

"Well I have a question."

"Ok shoot."

"Well, I've been improving pretty well, and I'm taking my meds. So I was wondering that next year when school starts back up if I could go to college?" I asked hopeful.

"Uh. I don't know Ash-"

"No dad. I'm tired of being the crazy Davies' child. I just want to be normal. I want to go to college, and get to do the things normal college kids get to do. Kyla gets to go, and you know why? Because she's not sick. But I'm getting better dad. You can't deny me this. I have nothing going for me! I want something that I can do and be useful. Something that I can succeed at. So please dad, let me go?"

He sighed loudly and looked at me with his light green eyes. "Fine you can go. But if you so much as fail a single class, I'm pulling you out. You hear me?"

I run over to my father and jump into his arms.

"Thank you daddy, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"No problem princess."

"Hey Ash, someone's here to see you." I heard Kyla announce.

I walked out of the kitchen and made my way to the foyer where I came face to face with Spencer.

She was here, standing in my house, and Kyla could see her too.

**Spencer's POV**

Ever since the encounter with the girl at the cafe I've been doing a little bit of research.

The girl told me that her name was Ashley Davies, and that we've known each other since the fifth grade. She even knew that I moved away from L.A.

I started off by going through old elementary school year books, and sure enough there definitely was an Ashley Davies in my class. She looked just like the girl at the cafe.

I just knew that it was her.

Flipping to the back of the yearbook I see it big sloppy hand writing. 'Hey Spence have a great summer I LOVE YOU! BFF! -Ashley.'

That's right, I remember.

Ashley was my best friend before we moved. Moving away from Ashley was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. And I regret not telling Ashley before I left that I loved her.

I think back to our encounter at the cafe and smack my self in the head. I immediately feel horrible. Ashley knew who I was, and I just sat there and told her I didn't know her. I needed to find her so I could fix things.

I some more research and found out where Ashley lived. I know it's kind of stalkerish, but I need to make everything right.

Once I pulled up to Ashley's driveway, I thought about turning around and going back home.

But I came here for a reason.

I walked up to her door and knocked. The door opened to reveal a short brunette. She was the girl that was with Ashley at the cafe the other day.

"Hey um is Ashley here?" I questioned.

"Yeah hold on-, wait, you're that girl from the cafe. You made my sister cry. What are you doing here? Come back for round two?"

"Listen I never meant to hurt her ok. I just didn't remember her at the moment, but I remember her now. We were best friends in the fifth grade. I just came to make things right, so can I please see her?" I pleaded.

"Fine but if you hurt her, your face is in the ground. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Hey Ash, someone's here to see you." She yelled then walked up the stairs.

Ashley came walking in a few seconds later and stopped when she saw me.

This was going to be kinda awkward.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ashley's POV**

Here I am staring into those beautiful blue eyes that have haunted me for so long.

But I can't be happy.

I can't have any real emotion.

I've waited so long for Spencer to show up and tell me that she loved me, and that leaving me was the worst thing that she had ever done.

But now, staring at her, with her eyes questioning mine, I feel nothing but a slight pull.

My heart still beats for her.

This slight pull I feel trying to bring me towards her proves it.

I still love her. Even though she left me.

"What are you doing here?" was the first thing that came to mind.

"Ashley I completely understand if you don't want me here, but I-"

"I never said that I didn't want you here." I sighed loudly and looked to the floor.

"I just want to know why you're here."

"First I want to apologize."

"About what?"

"Everything."

I looked back up at her then gestured towards the stairs. If we were going to talk about this, we were going to talk in private.

Away from Kyla and my father.

As I walked the stairs I looked back at her and continued to climb them.

"Come on, lets go upstairs and talk in my room."

"Ok"

After we made it up the stairs I sat on my bed and patted the spot next to me. She slowly came over and sat down with a light thud. I turned slightly so I was facing her and she proceeded to do the same.

"So..." I started.

"Well I know that it's been years since I've been here, and that I really have no right to be here but I need to clear my head of some things."

I nodded my head and she looked at me with her dough eyes before picking her sentence up again.

"At the cafe, when you came up to me, I knew that I recognized you. I just couldn't put my finger on it. But once you said your name and that we've known each other since the fifth grade, I just had

to do some research and find out where you live. Wow, that sounds kinda creepy."

"No it doesn't. I understand. Because I've been through a lot. And I mean a lot." I said while I fiddled with my fingers.

"But you see, Ashley, I know who you are, and I'm sorry that I made you cry. I'm sorry that I didn't recognize you sooner. Most importantly I'm sorry I left in when I did. I had no choice but I'm sorry for it." She spoke with sorrow dripping from her words.

"You don't have to be sorry. Like you said, you didn't have a choice, and about making me cry, that wasn't your fault. It's because of everything that's happened to me. And I felt like you were leaving me after everything we've been through."

"Ashley I don't understand-"

"Spencer, I have to tell you something, but you have to promise that you won't run away from me. Not again, and you have to let me finish."

"Ashley-"

"Promise me."

"Whatever it is Ashley, I promise that I won't leave you I couldn't."

"Ok, well, ever since you left and my mother's death, I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. You know where I see and hear things that aren't really there."

She nodded slightly and motioned for me to continue.

"Well I kept hallucinating that you were here, and that we were together. So I put in a psych ward and put on medication. Over time they still kept me because I gained depression because I wasn't

seeing you. Everything that had happened was so real to me, and for everything that happened between us to be only in my mind. I was lost. I loved you so much that it hurt not having you there.

And after what happened at the cafe I was ready to give up. All because I knew I couldn't have you. I knew that nothing would ever happen between us. So I was ready to let you go. Please don't

think I'm crazy."

She sat there in silence for a few moments just looking down at my bed spread.

So I stood up from my bed and opened the door for her.

"I think you should leave. I knew that I shouldn't tell you, because no you probably think I'm a freak. So it would be best if you just leave."

I felt her presence come closer to me until the front of her body was touching mine.

Our bodies were making full contact.

And my mind was going into overdrive.

"I'm not going anywhere," she spoke softly before pulling my face up to hers and connecting lips together. Her hands came up to my face as I deepened the kiss between us. Eventually we pulled

away for the lack of oxygen and she smiled at me.

I wanted so badly to be able to smile back.

So badly.

But I couldn't. Spencer left me behind and now she expects that a few kisses can change everything.

Even my mind.

But it can't. I just can't let everything go back to the way it was.

I just can't.

"I'm sorry Spencer, I just can't."

I motioned my arm towards the open door and watched as her shoulders slumped and her eyes rimmed with tears.

"Ashley I-"

"Please just leave."

She closed her eyes tightly then glanced at me again before she walked out of my bedroom and maybe my life.

**So that is the new ending of this chapter. Hopefully people will like it better. Thanks for reading guys it means a lot to me.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ashley's POV**

My bedroom door opened with a loud slam, and in the doorway stupid Kyla.

A very, very angry Kyla.

"What the hell Kyla," I yelled. I walked over behind the door and saw a dent in the wall where the door knob had made contact with it, " Damn it! You made a dent in my wall. I'm so not fixing that again!"

"Don't you 'what the hell me' I should be asking you that."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Sorry, but frankly I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about."

"Bullshit!"

She ran a hand through her brown hair and glared at me.

"Ashley, I don't know what you said to that girl, but she left here crying. And I don't understand that. You have been told that you were crazy because you were seeing her when no body else was,and then you developed depression because you weren't seeing her. Then you get her in your life, for real this time and she leaves here crying. No, not crying but bawling her eyes out! I'm sorry but that make me confused."

"You don't understand Kyla."

"Of course I don't understand. I'm here to find out."

"I don't know what you want from me."

"I don't want anything from you. I just want you to be happy Ashley. I love you, ok, you are my sister. No matter what I'm still going to love you, but you can't push the one person you have been wanting for so long away from you."

"Once again Kyla, you just don't understand I just can't welcome her back into my life after everything she did to me," I shook my head as I plopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling,

"I just can't."

"Tell me why. Maybe then we can figure something out," she spoke softly as she took a seat next to me.

"It's hard to explain Kyla."

"Well, then try to go slow, and I will try my best to keep up, ok?"

I looked at her.

I looked at her eyes.

Kyla had never wanted to hear anything that was going on with me and Spencer when I was crazy, so why would she want to know now?

'Why do you want to know all this?" I questioned.

"I just want to see what's going on in that head of yours."

The look in her eyes told me that she was being sincere.

She actually wanted to know about what was going on with me. I could tell that she actually cared.

"Well, you see. It's just that Spencer was there before I went to the institution. She was always there. But as soon as you all put me in there and they gave me those pills she stopped coming to see me. Then once I stopped taking the pills she came back. Then the doctors put me back on them, and guess what she did?"

"She went away again?"

"Yep, she just left. Like she always did. And then at the cafe, when you could see her too. Man I was so ..."

"Happy?" She Offered.

"Yeah, you could say that. After that I was so ready to accept her back into my life and love her like none of that stuff ever happened. But the truth is I can't pretend that it didn't happen. Because I'm always going to know that it did."

"Ash, when all that stuff happened, you were imagining her."

"I know, but it all still seems so real, and I just can't let it go. I can't let those memories escape me, because some of them were so, amazing. When she was here I thought that I could forget about all that happened, but like I said I couldn't. I don't want to forget the good memories, but the bad ones are always gonna be here. And when she kissed me-"

"Wait what?! She kissed you and you still turned her away?" she interrupted with her scream.

"Yeah she kissed me, but she can't think that a couple of amazing, heart stopping kisses can change everything, cause guess what? It can't."

"I know Ash, but that girl likes you. Otherwise she wouldn't have even come here to see your crazy ass," we both laughed slightly at her comment before things got serious again, "But you need to open up to her. Maybe even explain everything to her, and I do mean everything. That would be a good start."

"Yeah. It would."

Kyla stood up off of my bed and reached into her back pocket, producing a piece of paper.

"Here, she wrote down her number before she left. Give her a call. Cause Ash, a love like the one you have for her, it only comes around once. Don't let it escape away from you, ok?"

I nodded my head as she placed the paper in my hand.

"Call her Ash." she said softly as she pulled me into a hug and then left my room.

I stared down at the ten digits and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

I dialed the number and waited for it to be answered.


	13. Chapter 13

**Ashley's POV**

I stared down at the ten digits and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

I dialed the number and waited for it to be answered.

The ringing of the phone continued to sound in my ear.

With each ring I began to get more anxious.

Finally the ringing stopped, and I hoped to hear her voice.

And I did.

But it wasn't the right one.

It was her answering machine.

I sighed loudly before listening to the answering machine.

Her voice was so angelic. It was simple. Yet it made my heart beat wildly. This girl was doing so much to me.

And she didn't even know me.

Well, she did. Just not that well.

I didn't know what I wanted to say to her, but I knew that it had to be good.

I made her cry. She doesn't deserve to be sad. Especially from me. I need to make things right with her and this was my only chance.

_Beep!_

"Hey Spencer. Look I know that you probably don't want to talk to me. I know that I'm probably the last person you ever want to talk to. But I just want to say that I'm sorry, and ask if maybe you would like to go to dinner sometime. You know, so I could explain everything, and maybe we could figure something out. I don't know. Just please give me a call back, and sorry for babbling. Uh, by the way it's Ashley. Bye."

I flip my phone shut and bury my face into my pillows. God I'm such an idiot.

Why couldn't I have just kissed Spencer and let everything be fine.

Then we would be together and we wouldn't be hurting like this.

She wouldn't be hurting like this.

Pulling my body out of my bed I strip from my clothes and find a bathing suit. Once I have a bathing suit on I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab a drink.

I noticed Kyla's lower half hanging out of the fridge as she looked around the inside. I definitely didn't need to see my sister bending over like that in her booty shorts.

"Hey Kyla when you get the chance throw me a coke, you know if you can find your way out of there." I said as I walked behind her and slapped her right on the ass. With a jolt she shot up and hit her head on the self, causing a big bang.

"Ouch! Ashley was that necessary?"

"Was your birth?"

"Ha ha, bitch." she said as she handed me my coke.

"You know you love me." I smiled.

"I have to. Dad said so," She laughed along with me. "So, did you call Spencer?"

I sighed loudly once again.

I was hoping that we could avoid this.

"Yeah, I called her. But I only got the answering machine. I left a message, but I doubt that she will call me back. I mean I wouldn't call me back. I don't deserve for her to call me back." I said with sadness laced in my voice.

"Ash, don't say that. She _is_ going to call ok. In the mean time...." she drifted off as she took her shirt and shorts off revealing a bathing suit underneath. "Last one to the pool is a dumb bitch!"

She took off towards the pool leaving me in my place.

"Wait, that's not fair!" I screamed as I chased after her. I reached just in time for her to jump in and resurface.

"You're such a cheater!" I hollered as I jumped in the pool over her head. I swam under the water and grabbed her feet pulling her under.

"Hey, that's not fair!" She yelled as she came up from the water.

"Who said I was fair?"

"True."

**Spencer's POV**

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands as I awoke from my nap.

I wish things went better with Ashley.

But I guess that is only hopeful wishing, because it didn't.

I get up off of my couch and walk into the bathroom.

I look in the mirror and see my red puffy eyes staring back at me.

Why am I hung up on this girl?

She hasn't been around me in years, but the second she comes back in, I'm ready to fall for her.

I splash cold water on my face and grab a towel to dry. I felt my stomach growling. I guess it was food time. As I walked into the kitchen I saw my answering machine flashing. I pushed the play button and waited to see who called me.

It was most likely my mom.

_You have one new message._

"_Hey Spencer. Look I know that you probably don't want to talk to me. I know that I'm probably the last person you ever want to talk to. But I just want to say that I'm sorry, and ask if maybe you would like to_

_ go to dinner sometime. You know, so I could explain everything, and maybe we could figure something out. I don't know. Just please give me a call back, and sorry for babbling. Uh, by the way __it's Ashley. Bye."_

_Beep!_

I looked at my phone for awhile.

Just thinking about if I should call her back or not.

Eventually I made my decision.

I picked the phone up and held it my hand for a minute before dialing Ashley's number.

The phone rang and rang but I only got her answering machine.

"_Hey this is Ashley, leave me a message and I might get back to you."_

I thought about leaving a message.

But in the end I just hung up the phone.

If she wanted to talk.

She would call me back.


	14. Chapter 14

**Ashley's POV**

I have thought about killing myself.

Not lately, but I have before.

When I was in the institution I would think about it all the time.

I didn't really see a point in my life.

I was crazy, Spencer wasn't around, so I didn't see a point.

I thought of the many ways I could do it.

I could have stored my pills day after day until I had enough to over dose on.

I could sneak a knife from the cafeteria and stab myself.

I could have started a fight with a person bigger than me, and they could have pounded me to death.

There were so many ways that I could have done it.

But over all I decided against it.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't be that selfish.

I couldn't take my life and leave my family behind.

I couldn't leave them with that kind pain to deal with.

I couldn't leave them to deal with my body, and figure out my funeral arrangements.

I wasn't going to let my depression get the best of me.

I couldn't let it.

So every day I'm reminded about the good decision I made.

I'm surrounded by my family who loves me, and it's moments like these when I spend time with them that I'm reminded the most.

Right now we all are gathered around the dining room table about to enjoy dad's favorite meal.

Barbecue ribs.

Personally I love them too.

"Hey Dad, can you pass the potatoes?" I questioned as we all stacked ours plates with ribs.

"Here you go honey."

After a while we started to break into conversation it started out fine but Dad had to bring Spencer up.

"So how was your day girls?"

"It was good. Me and Ash went swimming and we caught up a little bit," Kyla said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"How about you Ashley?"

"It was ok."

"That's it. Just ok? You didn't do anything special?"

"Nope." I muttered.

"Did you give that girl Spencer a call?"

I dropped my fork to my plate, and swallowed my mouth full. I really didn't want to talk about Spencer.

"Yeah I called her, but ,uh, she didn't pick up. She probably never wants to see my face again."

I wiped my hands on my napkin and looked at my father.

"Can I be excused?"

"Yeah sure honey. You feeling ok?" He asked with pure worry in his eyes.

"Yeah I'm just not feeling that hungry anymore."

"Ok."

I stood up from the table and carried my plate into the kitchen before cutting back through the dining room to grab my drink.

"Hey Ash, before you go to your room, I just want to know that you have an appointment with Dr. Anderson on Thursday."

"What for?" I questioned.

"It's just a check up. She just wants to see how your doing. That's all."

I nodded my head and went up to room. Once in there I went over to my dresser in search for my phone.

It was no where to be found.

I walked over to the railing in the hall way and shouted down to Kyla.

"Hey Ky, have you seen my phone?"

"No." She shouted back.

"Damn it." I muttered to myself as I walked back to my room.

This is great.

Just great.

I lost my phone.

What if Spencer called?

Oh well I'll just look for my phone in the morning.

I changed into my pj's and plopped on bed with a slight thud.

I flipped the lamp off and sleep took over me.

**Spencer's POV**

I have been staring at the phone.

I don't exactly know how long I have been staring at the phone, I just know that it's been a while.

I just need to give up.

Ashley would have called by now if she wanted to work something out.

I was obviously mistaken.

Maybe she was just trying to be nice.

Maybe she was hoping that I wouldn't return her call. So now she's avoiding me.

This is great.

Just great.

I kiss Ashley and she makes me leave.

If that wasn't a big hint itself.

I give the phone one last glance before I flip off the kitchen light and make my way to room.

I need my sleep.

Maybe in the morning everything will all better.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So I understand that's it's been a while since I've posted and update. Please don't hate me all to much. I've been busy with finishing up my sophomore year. But here is an update for you all. I hope you enjoy.**

**Raife's POV**

I flip the last pancake over and look at the clock.

It was nine thirty on Thursday.

Ashley's appointment was at eleven so I decided that I'd make her breakfast then wake her up before we head over to go see Dr. Anderson.

I place three pancakes on a plate and drown then in syrup. Just how Ashley likes it.

I place the plate on the kitchen table before making my way up the staircase to her bedroom.

I knock on the door lightly and get nothing but a rather loud snore. I open the door quietly and sit down on the bed next to Ashley.

She has the covers pulled up over her face, and just her hair is sticking out of the top.

I shake her lightly hoping to wake her, but got nothing. I shake her more forcefully, and still got the same reaction.

I stand up at the end of her bed and grab a hold of the covers. With one swift motion I yank her covers up off her body and she reacts by reaching for her covers.

"Daddy, give me my covers back," she mumbles as she buries her head inside her pillows.

I jump up on her bed and start jumping up and down like a little kid.

"Get up Ashley. The day is bright, the sun is shining!"

"It's way to early to be up."

"You have an appointment." I remind her.

"Just cancel it. My sleep is more important." As she mumbled out this sentence she started to drift back into sleep.

"Oh I don't think so Ash."

I grab one of her arms and pull her up. I pick her up and place her over my shoulder.

Surprisingly she goes without much of a fit.

I bound down the stairs, giving a little extra jump at the bottom to shake Ashley.

Once we get to the kitchen I place her down in her seat across from where Kyla is now.

Kyla smirked at me as I placed Ashley in her seat with a thud.

"You know for and old man, you are pretty strong," Ashley mutters as she starts to dig into the slightly cooled breakfast.

"I'm not that old!" I argue.

"Dad, you are forty. You are kind of old," Kyla throws in.

"Thanks Kyla I love you too," I chuckle. "So Ashley eat up, then go get ready so we can go."

She mumbles something between bites that sounds like an 'ok.'

"So Kyla you want to do something today? I mean you don't have classes today, so maybe you would like to go to lunch or the movies with your old man?" I suggest.

"Actually, Daddy, I have plans. Sorry." She takes a sip of her coffee and looks over at the clock. It read 9:47.

"Well looks like I need to go get ready myself. I supposed to meet someone for breakfast at ten thirty." she downed the remaining bit of the coffee in her cup and bounced up from her seat. She placed a kiss on my cheek and gave Ashley a gave.

Ashley in return gave her a little grunt.

"Bye Daddy, bye Ashley." She called out once she walked out the door.

Ashley stood up from her seat and began to drag herself up the stairs.

You just got to love kids.

**Kyla's POV**

I pull into a parking spot at the local diner and take my key from the ignition.

I walk into the diner and spot her near the back. She has her nose buried into her laptop and is pecking away at the keys.

I quietly walk over to her and sat down across from her. She looked up from her laptop then glance back down before shutting her computer down.

She placed her laptop in its carrier case before her eyes landed back on me.

I didn't know how this conversation was going to go, but I hoped it went well.

"Hey, Kyla. I'm glad you came." She spoke with a slightly forced smile.

"Yeah well, I'm not here for you, Spencer. I'm here for my sister." I declared.

"I completely understand."

"I don't think you do. Do you know that Ashley is unstable? I love her death and have nothing against her, but she isn't in the best state of mind. And I don't want you to come along and play with her heart. She's been through way too much. She doesn't deserve it. You understand me?" I said with a sort of growl creeping its way up my throat. I was protective of my big sister.

Because I know that she would do the same.

"What do you want from Ashley? I mean you haven't called or anything. So why now?" I questioned.

" But I did call. I got her voice mail. I didn't leave a message though. Even though I know I should have. It's just that after what happened..I, I just didn't know what to do. I mean she pushed me out of the house practically. So I gave her a call, but like I said I got her voice mail, and she still hasn't called back. And I don't anything from Ashley, except her love. I know that this may be rash, but I love your sister. She makes me feel alive and I don't know how I have survived without her."

I looked at her.

I mean I _really _looked at her.

I could tell from her eyes that she was telling the truth.

She just wanted to be loved.

I know I can't force them together.

But I could always give them a little push.

"Hey Spencer, how about we leave here and go hang out at my house. I'll even make us breakfast. Ash will be home later and then you guys could talk." I suggested.

" I don't know." She began.

"Come on, please? For Ashley?" I smirked.

"Well if it's for Ashley, how can I refuse?"

We stood and gathered our belongings before making our way to our cars, and Spencer followed me to my house, where she and Ashley could take one step closer.

One step closer for them to be together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ashley's POV**

I throw the ball up in the air and wait for it to return to my grasp, just to have it yanked away from me.

"Hey, I was playing with that!" I yelped at Dr. Anderson.

"And you can have it back, but not until we are finished here," she spoke with a firm tone in her voice. If I saw Dr. Anderson in that kind of way, I

would have found that voice kind of sexy.

She smacks my feet off of her desk and gives me a stern look.

"This is serious Ashley," she spoke softly.

"Look, I know that I'm here for a check-up or whatever, but I don't need to be here. I'm completely fine. There is nothing wrong with me. In fact it

can't get any better for me. Everything's perfect. Just peachy. 100% fine," my voice began to rise towards the end of my speech.

"Ashley, is there something you would like to talk about?" She questioned.

"No, I already told you. I'm fine," I huffed.

"Why do i not believe you?" She asked.

"I don't know. Ask yourself."

"Ashley, if there is something you would like to talk about, it's best that you just talk about it. It's not going to do you any good keeping it all bottled up," the words gently glided from her mouth.

I sighed heavily and looked into her eyes. They showed nothing but concern.

"It's nothing really," I started out. "Actually it's a big something. Spencer came into my life, and she's here now. I know that it would be so easy,

too easy, to just with her. We could be togther and things would be fine. Right? Wrong. Even though this Spencer, the real Spencer, had nothing

to do with my crazy mind and the Spencer I was imagining, I can't seem to let it all go. As much as I would love to let it go, I can't, and I don't

know why I can't. I love Spencer. So very much, but the past is keeping me from having a future with Spencer, and I don't know what to do."

"I understand, you're holding onto thoughts of the past. I think I may be able to help you a little bit," she reached into one of her cabinets and

pulled out her prescription pad. She scribbled on the pad with a silver pen and ripped it off the pad, handing it to me.

"Here this should help. I'm taking you off of your current meds, and I'm going to give you this. It's a medication for depression. It should help you

out with what's going on."

I stared down at her chicken scrath then back at her.

"Thank you Dr. Anderson."

"It's no problem Ashley. Well that's all for the day. It was good to see you Ashley."

"You too, Doc.

**Spencer's POV**

"Oh my god, she looks so cute!" I cried out.

Kyla was currently showing me some of Ashley's baby pictures.

Right now we were looking at one where Ashley is covered in mud and her curly hair doesn't even reach her shoulders.

She looks so adorable.

We hear a car pull up and car doors shut.

"Oh shit! Go up into Ashley's room before she sees you," Kyla rushed out.

I jump up off the couch and race up the stairs into Ashley's room.

I take a seat on her bed and wait.

**Kyla's POV**

God I hope this works.

**Ashley's POV**

I get out of the car and walk into my house. I walk pass the living room and into the kitchen.

I grab me a glass and fill it with water. I grab the prescription bag and pull my pill bottle out. These pills are small and blue.

Nothing like old medication.

Nothing like what took everything away from me.

I pop two pills into my house and quickly chase it with water. I drain my glass then decide that I'm in the mood for a swim.

I bounce up the stairs and open my bedroom door to see Spencer.

She was just walking around my room looking at the pictures, but she was here.

"What are you doing here?" I question.

I see her slightly jump and I laughed a little.

"Um, Kyla said I could um, I wanted to see you."

"Well here you are."

"Yep, here I am."

I sit on my bed and motion for her to do the same.

She slowly takes a seat beside me and sighs loudly.

After about a moment of silence she begins to stand up and speaks.

" I knew that I shouldn't have come."

I quickly grab her arm and she sits back down.

"Please don't go. I don't want you to leave."

She nodded slightly and I knew that it was now or never.

"Look I know that I'm crazy and that I have the ugliest mind."

"Don't say that, you have a beautiful mind," she spoke and she reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Ok, but as I was saying. I know that I'm not perfect. And I know that I may blame you for things that you didn't actually do, but I love you

Spencer, and I want to give us a try. Because I don't think I can life without you. Not again, not ever. So what do you say?" I asked a little shyly.

She slowly placed her hand on my cheek and pulled me into her.

She kissed me softly, but it was full of so much passion.

She pulled away with a smile on her face.

A smile was also plastered on my face.

" I think that giving us a chance is the only way we're going to figure everything out. Also I think that I love you too, Ashley."

"Really?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. I pulled her into another kiss, and I just knew right there, that everthing from here on was going to fine.

I had the girl of my dreams, and my future was looking bright.


End file.
